I saw the most beautiful sunset at Bryn Mawr today. Of course, like everything in life, this was the one time I didn’t have my handy-dandy camera on me! I did take a picture with my phone though, so I guess that will have to do for now. (You can find it on instragam, with the link in one of my tweets from today!) It seemed as if the sky was on fire. I was walking out of Erdman after a pleasant dinner with friends, only to come across the light-blue mass above me, dressed in pink clouds of cotton candy. It was so serene, and so beautiful. If I had any doubt of whether there was any hope to my academic worries, they were gone, right there, right then. The multi-colored lights came down on me as a peaceful shower, telling me to hold on and keep hopeful. I had to stop and tell myself to enjoy that moment. I could not let it pass.
Why did I have to tell myself to stop? Shouldn’t that just happen naturally? These are precious moments that quickly go away, presents from nature, which we cannot take for granted. They give us meaning, they are a sign we are alive. It is an energy that is not optional–it is necessary for our existence. The fact that I almost let it pass left me worried.
We just completed a week of classes today! But doesn’t it feel like a month, at least, has gone by? That just wows me. Bmc surely doesn’t lose any time….either you’re 100% in, or you’re…100% in. But life may be like that sometimes, pulling you into a busy bundle of bewildering “bees-y” work. It’s one of those things that you can’t control. It’s out of our hands. But that doesn’t mean that we should allow ourselves to be sucked into that vortex of responsibilities. Each person has their own personal time, and we should all know what that is for us and respect that. We have to put our foot down, because no one else will do that for us. And this is just as much a part of being a Bryn Mawr Woman (BMW) than getting your work done perfectly. Although it may not seem like it now, your life does not depend solely on those Econ exercises or that Shakespeare reading. There is so much more out there.
I am very excited to be back at school, but I couldn’t understand how, in just one week, I was already starting to become overwhelmed with my work. I’m already behind on some of it! Unbelievable. As these conflicting feelings started to stir up inside me, urges of escape began to emerge as well. But I just got here! Why should this academic life be filled with stress, complaining, and a sense of chasing your own tail? Nan-nan. No-no. I shall not let myself cave in, I shall be strong and find moderation, EQUILIBRIUM! HORAH! (Applause, applause). I shall approach my work with excitement and concentration, and still make time to play! I shall maintain internal peace, and suck it up and not complain. I shall enjoy these last days of college, as a senior, and I shall cherish this amazing opportunity!
I know you might be rolling your eyes by now, or filing your nails. I’m sorry this sounds like a Hallmark card. But the intent is real, I promise! (Virtual pinkies everyone?) Life will only get more complicated after this and I want to know what is really important to me, what I want my life to be about–I want to prioritize. Is it worth sacrificing all other aspects of life just to try to be perfect? Which by the way, is impossible? Isn’t that just sabotage? What do I value most? These are all questions we should all think about.
This is what I want to work on most during my senior year. Not getting perfect grades or the approval or anyone, but going about in life respecting my own rhythm, and making choices, choices who represent who I am and are faithful to what I believe in! We have to present ourselves to the world as we are, so we may live a full, satisfying, and authentic life. Because if we make a mistake, the blame is on us, but if we triumph, isn’t that our merit as well? And even with a mistake, we most likely will learn from it (and if we’re lucky, we’ll have a funny story to tell our grandchildren some day).
So let’s all go out! Experience! Exchange! And Enjoy. The three “E”‘s of joy. After all, we never know when another beautiful sky will show itself to us 🙂
Until next time!