I’m letting life pile up, no easy way out. I need to stop for a minute, take on a new perspective. Focus on the small to make view of the big. I’m putting my glasses on, I’m having a case of spontaneous myopia.

I’m trying to keep it together, I promise, I am. But I feel like I’m doing nothing, and at the same time, all that I can.

Give a little bit…give a little bit…give a little bit–no, give a little lot, of your love to me. I don’t want to give in.  But baby there you go again. There you go again making me love you.

Hey….hey baby. Ooh. Ahh. I wanna know, oh oh oh. Oh. Oh. If you want me to be your girl. Just give me one more night…it’s just somebody that I used to know.

Shel keeps falling up but Alicia is falling in, and out but I just know it’s for Mr. Serotonin that I’m falling for. And he comes in many forms…Hershey’s (I like ’em, they give me kissies), Ghirardelli, Godiva….you name it. I know Mr. Queen, singer Mercury favored the latter.

I’m addicted to your chocolate high….musiq soul child, borrowing some soul from Mr. James B. and getting some wisdom from the little ones.

Oh sugar…aw, honey honey. I am your candy girl, and it comes at a perfect time: Halloween!

A little witch I know comes from this spooky day and she sure knows how to work her magic my way.

Why are artists so crazy? Why do we need to suffer to produce? I make much a many great (whatever that means–but hey, Woody Allen says, whatever works, right?) when I suffer.

I can’t take it–I need to let it out. Get back, get back….get back to where you once belonged! But where do you belong? Where do I? If only we could ask Waldo….he seems to fit in everywhere.

I’m checking to check it out–I choke–the chocolate, oh no, oh yes–will do the trick. Trick or treat. And about that costume? Spontaneity is the way to go.

Spur of the moment. Not my forte (the surname is misleading) even though  I enjoy leading the way. It’s not that easy—but it can come as a life-saver. The candy, the figure, the literate. Whatever works (Mr. Allen is getting some good space here).

I just need…I just need….I…JUST….justice, juste. Juice. Justice juice. Jambo juice. Jambo. (Isn’t that hi in Swahili? Props to Muna). Justice dances. Just Dance. Just Do It. *Checkmark*. Check. Che-Che-Che-Che, Check Che Out (like the Guevara).

I’m sorry….I’m really sorry…I didn’t mean..I mean, I meant…you mean, yes, you were mean. I’m sorry I like one direction, at least they know where they’re going.

And leave me out of it, leave me, left, OUT. Done. Slam. Dunk? -in, donuts. Doh (Homer). Dough. Duh? Doug, haha. Funny.

Discover…roll the dice. I heard there’s been a case of lice. I see it all. I feel it. Elephants. Rupa and the April Fishes. Just do the dance. Do it. Doing it. Done.

It’s just…..something in the way she moves. Has got me feeling like no other. Something in the way she moves…me.

The way you groove is a mystery. Like that Friday….oh those friday night lights. Or was it Saturday? You those nights with the fever. Travolta would know.

Zombie peaches. Peachy. It’s furry, it’s old, like mold, from Ice Age (III). It’s orange, it’s yellow…it’s mellow yellow. Guitar solo, please.

Oh those musicians…mellow is the way to go. Mellowing your melting down to the last drop. Drop it low, drop it love, just drop it.

I don’t know, I don’t know….you’re asking me, will it grow? You’ve missed the water and the light and the affection, stupid. I thought you had a degree? Only if it’s Celcius…oh I’m sorry, forgive me. I forgot you only do Fahrenheit. I guess that makes us incompatible.

Apples and Oranges. I see fruits, I see citrus. But I guess you only see red and orange. To you it’s all black and white, black and yellow. And it’s leaving me grey, it’s leaving me blue. I wish I could just leave you.

I thought you’d take me there…to para-para-paradise. Just like a prayer. I know–it would feel like home. Home alone. (Did you know I share a birthday with Macaulay? Oh yeah, fun fact).

I close my eyes, but it just opens a portal to another world. But now is not the time. Not again. It’s 2am. I have responsibilities. I have duties. I need energy. Energy to fight. The sheep have been counted, the relaxing music heard, the yoga shenanigans conquered. But apparently stubborn is my head’s only way. Way to go. Not.

It’s like a dream to me. Dream dream dream. Dream did Chagall. I love you. Thank you for your art.

Where art thou? No romeos, please. I’ve become allergic. Just “atta” boy will do. But I’ve recently heard they are an endangered species. And we all know how much this world cares about preserving nature, the environment. Oh yeah, I guess nothing to worry about there. Hunf.

It’s just the way you make me feel….oh MJ. Oh, it’s Center Stage. I believed I’ve misplaced the center of my stage. The view from here is awfully lopsided. Oh my–maybe we’re not in Kansas anymore, dear readers.

Cuz I gotta have faith. I gotta have faith faith faith-ah. I just can’t help to think of yesterday. Of tomorrow. But I’ve seemed to have misplaced my present. Oh wait–it’s not Christmas yet. Got it Santa.

Drum roll please. Just give me some Benny. Benny and the Jets. Not Jetsons, I said, Benny! Benny and the je-je-ets.

It’s just all the right moves in all the right places. But where I am coming from, two rights are making a wrong. A—no. Many, wrongs. Fine. Wrong it out. I’m out.

We’re going down. Down to where it all began. I need to, I’m sorry. I have to get to the bottom of it. The truth. Where has it gone?

God only knows where I’d be without you. After all, all you need is love.

No games, please. I’m sick of playing. This is not a playground zone, no need to respect the speed limit. Just GO! It’s green, can’t you see? I’ve been there and back, and no sign of you. I think I’ve lost you along the way. A pattern so well-developed it will make a great quilt someday. But I don’t want just memories, I want the real thing now. The present. Where has it gone? It’s swept you with it. Sigh, here we go again.

I asked to turn it up a notch, to place in another knot. Oh gosh. Communication problems. I guess that’s what you get for being a foreigner. A foreigner no matter where you go.

It’s almost midnight, the Cinderella moment is but a few minutes away. Time is ticking, it’s closing it up, it’s locking me out. But I’ve only just begun, where am I to go then?

I guess I’ll just have to wait. I’ve been waiting my whole life, what’s a few more minutes going to cost me? But I’m at the borderline, I’m at the tip of the ship. And you’ve missed your cue, so I guess waiting is done for me. The only waiter here is my server, and he’s just about to give me my food. So bon appetit. It’s all the same to me.

*Crystal shoe*

I have nothing specific to write about today, no special thesis or “point” to my post. I have had to organize my thoughts too much this week, what with midterms and having to write papers with “clear, coherent material”. You know, teachers want you to know what you’re saying. But this time, I don’t really want to know. So let’s just see how this goes. I shall give this a Dada-ist  swing to it and write automatically so as to tap into my subconscious (or you know, those reflective thoughts lying underneath the iron wall of rationality, organization and punctuality). I am just going to write freely and see what comes out, because what is defining this moment (and what pretty much summed up my week) are the contradictory feelings and vulnerably emotional state I am going through.

Tomorrow is Fall Break and that is pretty much the only thing anyone has been able to talk about (and how it will be a much deserved break from all of the stressful midterms and sleepless nights). All week Mawrters have been running around in their crazy-academic-driven faces spending meals chugging on hot chocolate (to calm nerves from another cold incomer this week: the chilly weather) talking about how they don’t have time to do all of their work and bonding over who has it the hardest. Lusty Cup is busy and full of caffeine-driven customers, and Canaday becomes as popular as a bar during Happy Hour while Carpenter patrons’ whispers intensify and become surprisingly loud for whispers as the carrels fill up with busy students. (Can’t say anything about Park Science building or Collier. Sorry guys – not a science major. For those updates, check with my friend Muna). Needless to say, students here at Bryn Mawr College are dedicated to their studies. But is it really worth wearing yourself out to the point where your body is running on caffeine, energizers, and some of that good ol’ adrenaline rush? Hmmm, I see a red flag somewhere…

I feel like, although we have a considerate amount of work, this state of survival happens independently of our workload. I had one 4-5 pg paper in French to write for Thursday. Not too bad. Still takes work and concentration and energy, though. So I decided to start working on it early and not leave it to that night-before-ultimate-pressure situation. I started on Saturday, worked on it again on Sunday, then Tuesday, and could only finish it late last night (it was due this morning). Wow! 4 days…do people take as much time as that? I know of classmates that did it all last night. Hmmm. I think I am a bit on the slower side. Or, by having more time, did I extend myself more than I needed to? In other words, could I have done the same thing but in less time in a more efficient matter?

I believe that we all have a tendency to drag things out. Make them take over our precious time. At least I have this characteristic…I work on something for as much time as I have to work on it and sometimes that turns the simple into the complicated. The paper consumed me all week, and caused more interference than it should have, than it would have if I had taken a more objective approach to it. I also believe that the environment we are in (especially in a small liberal arts college) is highly contagious, meaning, we absorb so much of what is around us. If your friends are stressed, then you feel as though you should be too, even if you aren’t. Yesterday afternoon, for example, I was feeling very peaceful, with no craving for sugar, and I felt as though there was something wrong with me. What a crazy idea! People will even go as far as bragging about how miserable a state they are in. Is this really what we should be working towards? To me, it seems as though our priorities are out of place.

This occurring pattern sometimes worries me about our students. I do not exempt myself from it – it is precisely my personal experience that has made me more aware of how much it happens all around me, constantly. I tried to make sleep prevail over work this week, and to maintain a calm state while eating healthy and having a positive mindset. I would say that I did ok – not too bad but not great either. I know it because of how I feel today, when everything is coming to a close. I feel overwhelmed and tired, and suddenly understand the need for this break. It is no wonder many other schools don’t have a Fall Break as big as ours (or even have it at all): Mawrters get so involved in their work that it becomes their lives. I wonder, however, if there is another way? Must we go to the tip of the cliff and almost fall off to feel like we climbed the mountain? Must we scrape our knees along the way? Isn’t just getting to the top, or even just the climb itself enough for us to feel accomplished? I think we may be trying to climb too high of a mountain.

We have to start thinking not only of our physical health, but also our mental and emotional. In fact, they are all tied. One influences the other. When we graduate, our lives will only get more complicated because – let’s face it – college isn’t reality. It is a very particular environment, where we don’t have to deal with responsibilities like cooking or paying rent or major house-cleaning (on top of having a job!). And this is even just while we are young. As we get married and have kids (for those who wish to follow that path), we will begin to be responsible for other people, and then it really gets complicated. So if we already have an unhealthy way to deal with responsibilities now, imagine when that part of our lives comes around.

I say I want to be able to deal with stressful situations (whatever they may be) in a calm and confident way. I don’t want to compromise my sleep, my eating, my friendships, (my fun!). In a way, Bryn Mawr is also teaching us that. In giving us sometimes more than we can bare, it is still giving us a choice: if we take it all, it is because we want to. We have the power to select what we spend our energy on. Because in life, we won’t be able to control what comes at us, so our responsibility is important in determining how we are going to deal with the problems that arise. And I say we should start practicing that sooner, rather than later.

Give internal peace a chance! Eat healthy! Take a yoga class, take a dance class. Relaaaax. Breathe. Smile. There is so much nature on this campus. Have you noticed how often we go by it without even taking it in, not one little bit? We will miss it once we are in the bustling crowds of metropolitan cities.

Anyway, HAVE A GREAT BREAK EVERYONE! Enjoy it!! Don’t do your homework, just relax, that is what it is there for! (Professors please disregard this…)

:), Luci

Yesterday my friend and fellow banter blogger Muna Aghaalnemer wrote a short but undeniably sweet post about the ups and downs of life. In just a few words, she was able to say so much. As I read her words filled with acceptance, courage, and a sweetness that is so characteristically hers, I could not help but feel embraced and understood. We, her and I, do talk much throughout the day, it’s true, but I hadn’t yet had a chance to speak to her about my troubles when she wrote the post, and yet, I felt as though she had read my mind because everything she talked about pertained to how I was feeling. Undoubtedly, just like myself, Muna’s post is sure to have/have had the same effect on many other people. (Check it out at http://bantermalnemer.blogs.brynmawr.edu/2012/10/02/just-keep-swimming/).

I was so inspired by her message that I decided to do write a post that will be not so much a reply to hers but rather a continuation. She says just keep swimming, I say, keep on swimming swimming swimming. We are all in this ocean (or as Dory calls it, the “Big Blue”) together, aren’t we? So we might as well just keep on swimming. There’s lots of reef to see and a lot of fish in the sea (jackpot! I love it when I get the double takes: both corny philosophies and rhymes in one sentence! Score. I know, I don’t need much to be happy.)

Muna talks wonderfully about give and take in her post. This has been a very hard lesson for me to learn in the past few days as assignments started to increase and pile up in response to the time crunch. As midterms approach our lives become consumed with stressful deadlines, sleepless nights and well, you know, some of that good ol’ pressure. You know the one I’m talking about. My mind has been on a roll: it never really stops. Multiple worries occupy my mind simultaneously and accompany me even in my dreams. Yesterday I tried to nap to re-energize but my mind did not allow me to rest: all I could think about was the work I had to do. I was neither doing it, nor relaxing. I was neither here nor there.

In this competitive world we live in it is also difficult not to compare yourself with others. We mustn’t, we should accept ourselves, and consider that everyone and everyone’s schedule is different, but it is so difficult to put in practice. It’s like the cookies in the cookie jar above the piano: if they’re there, you know you’re going to eat them! Same goes for checking out how your neighbor is doing in comparison to yourself. But really, nothing very good comes from that, except if it motivates you to be a better you. But even then, we have to be careful because the limits of the other person might be different than ours, and we should always know and respect our limits.

College, stress, and all of the above provide life lessons because in the difficulties that they pose they force us to discover who we are and how we function, for better or for worse. It is something that I struggle with everyday. I guess the only consolation is that no matter how different we are from each other, everybody suffers these feelings, gets stressed out in college (whether you’re a freshman or a senior) and (let’s face it), procrastinates (whether you’re a freshman or a senior). So we are all in this rocky boat together, yay! Just understand that you are not alone, and that people deal differently with the balls life throws at them.

So just let go. Let go to let in. This was a lesson I learned (better yet–am still learning) this week. We have to find a balance between control and letting go in life. If we plan too much, we might not be giving life the opportunity to throw something amazing at us. The more we try to control, the more it controls us. So just let go. Let go to let in. Give life that opportunity to show you something, to wow you. I was so caught up in controlling that it was backfiring and impairing me to do anything productive, it was impelling me to act. ACTION.

Even though I didn’t sleep very well last night, I did some meditation this morning and felt calmer throughout the day. I was able to get some studying done and had a moment of choreographic inspiration! Hooray. The night ended with a fun rehearsal with dance friends and to top it off, a great CDA tea in Merion brought to us by our CDA, Maha! All the Bryn Mawr-talking reminded me how much I love this school and its students.

So that is it my friends. I leave you today with a pop song that I adore and always gets me pumped up feeling careless and free. Enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eT_fOxs1HLk

And remember, just keep swimming….swimming, swimming.

Luci

Dear friends, today, I share with you, a most wonderful experience. A delightful experience. An experience of a lifetime. Oh–I’m sorry, I should be more specific–an experience of a foodie’s lifetime. Ok, glad we got that settled.

I had been thinking all week what my next post was going to be about. I had plenty to say about the dance world and my personal experience with stress and handling work, yatta yatta yatta, but I didn’t really want to repeat the same mood from my last week’s post! So today, as I was having the delicious sustainability dinner at Haffner, I realized that the answer was at the tip of my tongue. Not an idea, a philosophy or an inspirational epiphany, but rather, a piece of pizza. Not just any pizza:

“Caramel Apple Foccaianata”

(Don’t you just get tingles from reading that name?? Now try it with an Italian accent. Oooooh now there goes the goosebumps!)

Mamma mia! Oh what a delight. But where can I begin? A multitude of sweet, salty, savory flavors swirling around in crunchy textures and melt-in-your-mouth-warm, creamy consistencies in a heavenly, harmonious blend. My taste buds have never loved me more. I think they literally asked me to marry them. Seriously.

Proposals aside, let me tell you how the fairy tale began. I was walking to Haffner with my dancer friends after our Modern dance class, and was excited because I knew it was the sustainability dinner, and I know Dining Services always makes a beautiful presentation on top of delicious food. I was just a bit uneasy because I didn’t have much time to eat: it was 5:45 pm and I had Ballet rehearsal at 6:30 pm (and everyone knows it’s not particularly the best thing to eat right before you have to exercise…). But there we were. I quickly filed to the back where the buffet was located to gather a plate of wonderful greens with an appetizing orange-watermelon-mint dressing, seasoned roasted vegetables, rich sweet potato, and tangy sun-dried-tomato-turkey loaf. But that was just the beginning of what would be an unforgettable flavorsome gastronomical ride.

After some delightful main-course feasting, I headed to the dessert table, for I had noticed when I first walked in, a little stranger that would soon become a great friend. I knew we would be close right from the start. Sometimes you just feel that connection. And when you know, you know…you know? Right beside the rich-chocolate-frosty cake lay the most wonderful creature created by man. An edible creature. (Don’t worry, I am not into cannibalism!). I present to you, my new best friend: the “Caramel-Apple Foccaianata” or, dessert pizza. I quickly grabbed what I thought was a decent-sized piece with generous topping and soon headed to my table, ready to start my ritual.

With the first bite, all went silent in Haffner. I had no eyes, no ears for anything else but my baby, my CAF (Caramel-Apple-Foccaianata). Crispy buttery crust, oven-toasted apples bathed in a sweet cinnamon-brown sugar glaze, topped with a generous coat of sweet, luscious caramel and more cinnamon, and more brown sugar….and cinnamon. You can never have too much cinnamon. Since it was right out of the oven, it was the perfect temperature of warm. As soon as I bit into this gift of the universe, with that crunch, and the softness of the apple slowly melting on my tongue while the river of caramel rushed into all the remaining open spaces in my mouth, I knew I had surrendered.

CAF 1 x 0 Me.

If I close my eyes now I can still remember that heavenly taste…I took my time with every bite, seeing how the different ingredients and different textures played differently in my mouth with every variation. It was a carnival of flavors! Every bite was paired with many “hmmm’s” and “ahhh’s”.

Needless to say, this culinary masterpiece soon became a celebrity at Haffner. The crust was to the toppings as Angelina is to Brad, and no one could get over this satisfying Jolie-Pitt union. Poor chocolate cake! I am sure dessert option number 2 must have been amazing, but unfortunately it was overlooked by me (and I am sure, by others) as I was immersed in my caramel-apple-drizzled dream. Hmmm…(anybody drooling over there?)

Well, you know what they say: “all good things must come to an end” (unfortunately). Before I knew it, my piece was gone and it was time to go to rehearsal. I unwillingly packed my things and started to head out of the dining hall…only to grab another small piece before I ran out, HAHA! Now who’s the mastermind here…. 😀

Happy Friday to all, and may your weekend be filled with indulgence. Indeed.

Luci

Ballet class tonight started out like any other class, no big difference. No, that is a lie. I actually just had had a big dinner with my dance friends (Haffner had chocolate-caramel-smores pizza–oh my) so of course I got to class with my tummy singing louder than the beautiful classical notes being produced by the piano. But all was well, I managed to show up, didn’t I? High-five to still going strong! (Still haven’t reached that stage of utmost fatigue, when the absences of these audit classes start to increase….). But anyway, continuing on my little anecdote, ballet class was as pleasant as ever. I was with my friends, worked hard, broke a sweat, aaaand all that jazz. But after those two hours of intense classical training, just as the clock stroke at the hour, my dance class entered the Cinderella fairy tale and transformed in the blink of an eye into an inspired moment of movement creation (although in my case it was 9pm, not midnight, and there were no crystal slippers! Oh well, ’twas still a beautiful moment anyway).

I don’t know if many of you know, but I am a dance major, and as such, I must choreograph a dance piece as my senior thesis. I have been tossing around ideas for my choreography but the first rehearsal I had, this Tuesday (oh dear, that was only yesterday. It feels like much more time has gone by!) didn’t really reflect what I actually wanted to do. The movements I had created I decided I didn’t like and they just didn’t feel good, they didn’t feel right. I of course started to panic just a tiny bit and started question whether I was going to be able to create something good, something worthwhile. And then there was all that crazy freaking out (you know, typical). It was the first rehearsal, of course I was overreacting, and ideas come and go, change, transform…you just have to keep going and see what you get! And that’s what the process is all about. But still, my emotions spoke louder and I ended up doubting my ability to do a good job.

But today, in that Cinderella moment, everything changed. I suddenly felt inspired and began to visualize movements for one of the pieces of music I want to use (sorry, won’t be able to reveal this one just yet!) I quickly asked the pianist to play it for me, so that I could try out the steps and show it to my dancer friend, to see what he thought. I had created just enough for the first 16 counts of the music. But the pianist continued playing, so I decided to go on and just improvise. I just listened to my heart and followed my intuition. At that moment, there was no one else except me and my music. I didn’t think, I just let my body flow…the teacher and my two other dancer friends were in the room watching, but it was as though they weren’t even there. I was not affected by their presence, I was dancing just for me, finding myself.

It was one of the most beautiful and deliciously peaceful moments of my life. I just felt sublime. I just feel like this whole week I was out of my body, frantic, looking for something that was inside me the whole time, and at that moment, I found it. I fell back into myself and felt so much at home, so much at peace. Everything was clear. It’s in those moments that you understand why you do what you do, why you make sacrifices, why you work so hard. Everything is right there: you are neither insecure nor cocky, you believe in yourself just as you are, you know that you have a purpose and that what you have is worth sharing.

I wanted to share with you all this very personal and special moment of mine because even though to me it was specific to dancing, it is really about everyone’s journey in life. Not only professionally, in terms of your careers, but at all levels. It’s about finding your place in the world, discovering who you are. I know we spend so much time trying to find out what that is, and it can be a stressful and frustrating process, but we have to keep going and just have faith that things will work out! Because — when you least expect it — those moments, those presents from the universe, will come and reassure you with everything you have been looking for. So don’t panic. Most importantly, don’t give up. It will come, it is there, it is all there inside of you. You can do it. Just keep going, and, step by step, one day at a time, you will get there. You will find everything you have been looking for.

A peaceful night to you all. 🙂

Luci

I saw the most beautiful sunset at Bryn Mawr today. Of course, like everything in life, this was the one time I didn’t have my handy-dandy camera on me! I did take a picture with my phone though, so I guess that will have to do for now. (You can find it on instragam, with the link in one of my tweets from today!) It seemed as if the sky was on fire. I was walking out of Erdman after a pleasant dinner with friends, only to come across the light-blue mass above me, dressed in pink clouds of cotton candy. It was so serene, and so beautiful. If I had any doubt of whether there was any hope to my academic worries, they were gone, right there, right then. The multi-colored lights came down on me as a peaceful shower, telling me to hold on and keep hopeful. I had to stop and tell myself to enjoy that moment. I could not let it pass.

Why did I have to tell myself to stop? Shouldn’t that just happen naturally? These are precious moments that quickly go away, presents from nature, which we cannot take for granted. They give us meaning, they are a sign we are alive. It is an energy that is not optional–it is necessary for our existence. The fact that I almost let it pass left me worried.

We just completed a week of classes today! But doesn’t it feel like a month, at least, has gone by? That just wows me. Bmc surely doesn’t lose any time….either you’re 100% in, or you’re…100% in. But life may be like that sometimes, pulling you into a busy bundle of bewildering “bees-y” work.  It’s one of those things that you can’t control. It’s out of our hands. But that doesn’t mean that we should allow ourselves to be sucked into that vortex of responsibilities. Each person has their own personal time, and we should all know what that is for us and respect that. We have to put our foot down, because no one else will do that for us. And this is just as much a part of being a Bryn Mawr Woman (BMW) than getting your work done perfectly. Although it may not seem like it now, your life does not depend solely on those Econ exercises or that Shakespeare reading. There is so much more out there.

I am very excited to be back at school, but I couldn’t understand how, in just one week, I was already starting to become overwhelmed with my work. I’m already behind on some of it! Unbelievable. As these conflicting feelings started to stir up inside me, urges of escape began to emerge as well. But I just got here! Why should this academic life be filled with stress, complaining, and a sense of chasing your own tail? Nan-nan. No-no. I shall not let myself cave in, I shall be strong and find moderation, EQUILIBRIUM! HORAH! (Applause, applause). I shall approach my work with excitement and concentration, and still make time to play! I shall maintain internal peace, and suck it up and not complain. I shall enjoy these last days of college, as a senior, and I shall cherish this amazing opportunity!

I know you might be rolling your eyes by now, or filing your nails. I’m sorry this sounds like a Hallmark card. But the intent is real, I promise! (Virtual pinkies everyone?) Life will only get more complicated after this and I want to know what is really important to me, what I want my life to be about–I want to prioritize. Is it worth sacrificing all other aspects of life just to try to be perfect? Which by the way, is impossible? Isn’t that just sabotage? What do I value most? These are all questions we should all think about.

This is what I want to work on most during my senior year. Not getting perfect grades or the approval or anyone, but going about in life respecting my own rhythm, and making choices, choices who represent who I am and are faithful to what I believe in! We have to present ourselves to the world as we are, so we may live a full, satisfying, and authentic life. Because if we make a mistake, the blame is on us, but if we triumph, isn’t that our merit as well? And even with a mistake, we most likely will learn from it (and if we’re lucky, we’ll have a funny story to tell our grandchildren some day).

So let’s all go out! Experience! Exchange! And Enjoy. The three “E”‘s of joy. After all, we never know when another beautiful sky will show itself to us 🙂

Until next time!

Love, Luci

I am so excited for my first blog post as a Bryn Mawr Banter Blogger!! (BMBB, I like that!) It is so very exciting to meet you all. Hey, I’m Luciana, you can call me Luci. How ya’ll doing?? Hopefully all is going well and not too bumpy on your first week of classes (whether you’re a freshmen, sophomore, junior, or senior, like myself, the overwhelming feeling is always there!) But that’s ok, right? Because no matter how stressed we might get, there is always that comforting hug of a friend or a pleasant smile of a neighbor right around the corner to get you through. After all, this is bmc we are talking about! And sisterhood is the last thing we are short of.

I was abroad last semester and I really felt this difference. I had been spoiled by having such amazing people around me at Bryn Mawr, and when I was in France it took me a while to realize that the real world didn’t necessarily share that same fluffy feeling. I had a wonderful time abroad, but at the same time I cannot express how thrilled I am to be back!

My behavior this week can be compared to that of a popping corn seed in the microwave. All during my flight over here I was burning with excitement, only to arrive on campus and– POP! I was so anxious to reunite with my friends, who I hadn’t seen for 8 months (5 from studying abroad, and 3 from the summer). How did I survive? It was too many feelings for one person alone: I was like the pink energizer bunny all week. Talking non-stop while dancing and singing and spazzing all at the same time. Oh, the wonderful feeling of returning to campus and knowing that nothing has changed, even as a senior. I mean, ok, maybe that’s not entiiiirely true (I did learn some important things here and there and did make some important changes) but the essence of returning, that freshness of going back to school, is still there! And it was just wonderful to walk on campus, after 8 months, and feel like I hadn’t left at all. After all, I was coming back home.

The feeling only intensified as convocation came along. It was rainy, it was sunny, then it was rainy, and then sunny again. It was as though the weather was right in tune with my feelings. Nostalgia of what was, and trying to let go of that past, fought constantly with excitement of what will be, of facing what was once a distant future that is quickly becoming the present.The transition between those clueless undergraduate years to (you might imagine, a mastered undergraduate year? oh no, hardly), but rather still clueless senior year (even as a senior, you are still trying to figure things out, and that’s ok!) was finally about to happen. Even as clueless as ever, when you arrive at senior year I believe you learn that in fact, we will always be clueless creatures in this peculiar world. We never know everything. We do know some things, that maybe we didn’t even know before, but there will always be something with a potential to be explored. There will always be so much “mawr” to see. The difference is you learn how to be ok with not knowing. The “wisdom” you acquire over the previous 3 years teaches you how to feel reassured despite this lack of control. You learn to let go! (Oh dear, I sure hope I didn’t miss this “How to pick up some good wisdom” class).

All jokes aside, it just felt really good walking into Goodhart as a senior, strolling along with my classmates and greeting friends in the aisles. Having my professors there acknowledging this rite of passage, as well the president of our school, Jane McAuliffe, just made everything more real. I was inspired by many of their speeches, and felt, once again, so proud of my school. So proud of my classmates, some of which have become so dear to my heart, and who I respect so much. I was filled with joy, content, and satisfaction of being where I was. A moment that represented how much I had traveled but at the same time how much “mawr” there was to explore. I felt ready for all the challenges ahead of me. But most of all, I was ready to stand by my classmates, my friends, throughout not only the bad but the good that awaits us in this very important year to come. More important than what happens is who is traveling with us in this long journey. And who walks with us toward the sunset. With cheesy music on the background. Haha! ok, that last part might have been playing around with it a little bit, but what’s life without a bit of humor? I truly believe that comedy is a blessing. So hopefully you will get not only “useful” information, but also some good laughs out of this blog!

Week 1: I can say it has ended with much success (did anybody else notice it started out really rainy and finished with beautiful sunny days? It’s hope people, hope). I am once again very happy to have written my first post, on this dear bmc blog (I think i need to name it, right? After all, it will be like a friend to me! How about….BAB? BAB=BloggingAboutBryn…or GLO=GottaLoveOwls…or even, Bryncess Mawreen?? Ok, I know, I know…it’s a work in progress! How about this: I’ll do some more reflecting and I will let you all know? Feel free to make suggestions or vote on any of these choices!)

I hope you all have a wonderful week, and looking forward to seeing you all next time!

Love, Luci