Yesterday my grandparents celebrated their 60th anniversary. 60 years! Can you believe that? It’s amazing. Since my parents are currently in Canada and I am here in the US, we decided to do a three-way Skype call to my grandparent’s house and virtually crash their marital celebration. Everyone in my family was there: my sister, my aunts and uncles, my cousins…the mood was festive and vibrant, and we could see the love showering all over the room. Celebrations in my family are always a reason to have a big feast with delicious food, so of course, this event wasn’t going to be an exception. The computer circulated the room rapidly as people were eager to see us on the screen and say hello. But the main characters of this tale were the two love birds, obviously. After all the excitement and busy chatter, everyone calmed down to give room for my grandfather’s speech. It was so beautiful so see them express their love, that we couldn’t hold back the tears. All the sacrifice was worth it, they said. They were so thankful for the family that had been given to them and they were so happy to be sharing this joyful moment with them, with us. Relationships are hard and require work, and at many times it’s a roller coaster ride of ups and downs, but according to my grandparents, it’s important to keep going because the importance thing is, in the end, you finish high up.
I was so happy to be able to witness this moment from far away. But at the same time that it was a blessing it was a curse, because it just made me want to be physically present. I miss my family so much. This past Sunday was my sister’s birthday, the day before it was my cousin’s, and today my other cousin is also celebrating his birthday. I can’t help but feel emotional and sensitized with these occasions. With graduation coming up and plans of staying in the US, who knows when I will be able to visit home again? Leaving and consequently entering the country reveals the sticky visa issues, which are always stressful. I have been able to come and go as I pleased for the past 4 years and it’s crazy how easy it is to take it for granted, especially since I feel as though this has become my home. But it takes just one denial stamp from a government officer to remind you that it isn’t so. It’s crazy to me that I must need a permission to stay at a place that I’ve gotten so used to. Why can’t we just love all around and welcome everyone?
I know why. Sometimes, people just don’t have any love to give, so they think they can take it from others. The tragedy this week is an example of how much wrong there is with this world, unfortunately. How can someone explain something so dreadful? I can only think of all the families and friends of the people who suffered and who have been affected by this misfortune. It makes me think of the importance of family. Without our loved ones, who are we?
My grandparents got married when they were 18. My parents, when they were 23. Me? 22 and single. Yep. Dating is what creates families in the future. I can’t help but express how sometimes this can be a difficult aspect of being straight and studying at an all-women’s college. Even though Haverford and Swarthmore are close by and provide occasional opportunities, it just isn’t the same. I know it sounds silly, but an affectionate life is just as important as any other part of our lives. Like I said, it’s what someday will lead to marriage, and then to kids, and then to growing old with a partner, a companion, someone to share your life with (if you wish to have all of those things, of course). I’m not hurrying to get married, I just miss having someone to share a little bit of my life with. I have my family, my friends, my friendly neighbors, but no significant other, and this can be upsetting at times. I wouldn’t take back Bryn Mawr for anything, I’m sure of it, but it sometimes makes me wonder whether this has to be a price to pay in order to get all of the wonderful things an institution such as bmc has to offer. Why can I only have this quality of education and learning experience at a same-sex institution? As women become more educated and more independent, a trend has been developing that says that we “don’t need men”. I don’t know about you, but I do need men. It’s not a matter of needing the opposite sex perse, but rather that this represents the need of another person to share things with, which is a different type of relationship than the one you have with your friends. So as much as I will miss Bryn Mawr, I am also excited to meet new people and start a new phase in my life.
Everyone needs somebody to love. And everyone needs love. I’m not ashamed to say it, and neither should you. That’s all what this world needs, just a little bit of love. If we can all manage to do that and be a little generous, I’m sure the world would be a better place. It’s as simple as that.
So love to you, my friend. And thank you for taking the time to read my words.